Redactions
| ||||||||||||||
An assortment of bird Pokemon could be heard chirping, the smell of breakfast had just begun to fill the air, and the sun had just started to poke its smiling face from betwixt the clouds. This was a rather rare occurrence in Tao Village as of late, what with the arrival of all the snow. Still, it was a picturesque morning to everyone residing there. Or almost everyone, at least.
The one displeased with such a morning was Gunpowder, a bitter and miserable soul trapped inside the body of a blue land-dwelling shark. The projection of the sun's rays into his cave were an alarm clock of sorts. Normally, he'd ignore it and sleep in, but.. well, actually, today was normal. As expected, he groaned and rolled over to face the dark side of his cave.
"Just five more minutes, aye..."
...
Whoops.
Gunpowder shot awake after a couple more hours of shut-eye thanks to a nightmare reminding him of a job he had to do. A job for PK. At the best of times, her and Gunpowder didn't get along, so when he messed up like this.. she was extra sour.
How frequently did that happen, one might ask? Well, Gunpowder was known around Tao Village as.. well, for lack of better words, an irresponsible scruffian. Deep down, he didn't mean to mess up, he really didn't, but either clumsiness or misfortune led him to failure. Despite his best efforts to prevent a ceremony he had planned from being sabotaged by the Rescuers, they not only accomplished that goal, but caught and tied him up, as well. Bad luck, in that case.
Since Gunpowder slept in his only clothing - a hat and eye-patch - no preparations were necessary. He shot straight out the entrance to his cave, heading straight for the Rogue HQ. His task was to pick up a package there and deliver it to the Merchant HQ. The Rogues were put in charge of receiving the package, as it was coming from... less than reputable sources.
In retrospect, it might have been better to grab a blanket or poncho - Gunpowder had already forgotten how cold it was lately. The last thing he needed was to get sick again. It wasn't that far, though; being a leader of the guild, it was convenient to have his cave constructed near the headquarters. Devonshire "enlisted" the help of numerous Pokemon to construct it not long after Gunpowder arrived. Said it would force him to be on time.
Boy, was Devonshire wrong.
The sight upon arriving was certainly one for sore eyes: a cart with a harness attached to it, and atop it were numerous boxes. Gunpowder spotted a note stuck to a box about his eye level.
- Dear Gunpowder:
- I figured you would be late. You always are. I hate to leave a task to you, but I have already left, and all the teams worth considering have departed to the tasks we have given them. You really are the only one left. You are certainly capable of walking a cart across the village, aren't you? Besides, if you can't, there's no need for me to discipline you, as I'm sure whatever PK does will be worse.
- Regards,
- Devonshire
Devonshire was right. Amongst the non-Merchants of Tao Village, PK had garnered quite a reputation, especially after bringing that dragon Sorbet; "psycho" would be an understatement. Gunpowder sighed and proceeded to saddle himself up. As he began to walk, it dawned on him just how heavy the boxes were.. and how out of shape he was. Thanks to this, his trip to the Merchant HQ was filled with panting, red-faced pirates, and snow. What an adventure.
It seemed like an eternity, but eventually the large Kecleon-themed hut was in front of him.. and so was a rather fuming Shroomsworth. Were he able, he would have surely run towards Gunpowder and given him quite the smack on the head.
"You insufferable buffoon! Have you any idea of the time?!" Even when frustrated, he seemed to radiate the aura of a gentleman. "You were to be here hours ago! Thanks to your tardiness, I had to put some very inexperienced Merchants in charge of the stand. It will take me days to fix the messes they cause!"
"A-arrr, Shroomsworth. I tried me best, I did, but.. I just couldn't get up this mornin', ya know?"
Excuses did not amuse Shroomsworth.
"Are you really trying to rationalize this? Gunpowder, I have quite frankly had enough of your antics. You are so unreliable that, despite my broken leg, I no doubt could have carried each of those boxes over here individually in the time it’s taken you to cart them over yourself.”
Gunpowder bowed his head in shame. Although a favorite pastime of his was getting up in PK's grill, he actually enjoyed Shroomsworth's company when he had the chance, and so he didn't really want to make the Merchant leader upset.
"Leave the cart here and go. You've caused quite enough trouble as is. If you stick around, you very well might bring the entire Merchant's guild down to your level.” A pause. “That's bad, if you were wondering."
Such harsh words took a moment to parse. By the time he had finished, Shroomsworth had trudged his way back to the hut. Not like he could think of a good defense anyway.
After a stressful day, there was only one thing Gunpowder could think of to unwind: drink his sorrows away in the Spinda Cafe. It was no secret that he enjoyed to drink almost every offering from their menu. It was also no secret that his tab has gone unpaid since he arrived, and the only reason he continually managed to get away with it was his association with Devonshire.
On the way to the Cafe was that blasted ice beast. Like most of the residents, Gunpowder was sick of the cold it had brought, despite the advice it offered. Since he was currently in quite the rut, he had no problems expressing his distaste directly to it.
"Hey, you. Ice thing. Yeah, I be talkin' t' ya."
Sorbet casually turned its head towards Gunpowder. It was known to do things on its own time.
"Oh, it's you. The one noisier than the purple one. Escaped from that ghost's realm, I see?" Even its speech was slow.
"Hah! Devonshire'd never send me that far. I ain't talkin' t' yerself t' be talkin' 'bout me, though."
The dragon's interest had been piqued. "Oh? What is it you require of me, then?"
"I'm tired o' this cold! The hell be wrong wit' ya, anyway?! Can'tcha see the rest of us ain't suited to this? I'm tired of you, too. What with yer'.. omnipotence."
"I am many things, but omnipotent is certainly not one of them. I am just very observant. It's hard not to be when I perch myself here in the middle of the village. It is the most comfortable spot, after all." The dragon strolled off its roost towards Gunpowder - a rare sight indeed. "Like you. I saw you over there, at the hut. The only reason you are confronting me is to have someone to express your anger towards. That's fine, I suppose."
"Eh? Well... About that... It's all that Shroomsworth's fault. He always be--"
Sorbet was quick to interrupt. "Don't give me that. I know full well it was your fault. You were late. You always tend to be. Like I said, I observe many things, especially the rumors. I've heard you tend to not pay much attention to detail."
More criticism? Gunpowder was growing rather tired of hearing such slanderous filth. "Hey! What's the big idea, mate? Why're ya insulting me s' damn much?!" He stomped right up to the other dragon, putting them nose-to-nose. "I think ya might be wantin' t' tangle."
Sorbet raised his head, putting it out of reach of Gunpowder, who was noticeably smaller. "Hah... No, no, I don't want that. I am just telling you as it is. You can try to deny it, but it doesn't change the facts. You are irresponsible. That much is clear from how you are acting toward me alone."
Sorbet was not unwise, and seemed to hit the nail right on the head, despite how badly Gunpowder didn't want to admit it. He looked away from the dragon, not wanting to show further signs of weakness.
“You, Gunpowder... why not speak your mind? It is clear something has it occupied. I have been summoned to this village to help, regardless of your affiliation.”
Gunpowder paused for a moment, gritting his teeth. “Fine, fine. That encounter wit’ Shroomy over there? Tha’s not the first time like that. I have problems wit’ everyone, it seems. ‘specially that PK.” The shameful pirate stared up at the sky, as if lost in thought. “But it’s not like I do it on purpose, y’know?”
Sorbet scoffed for the first time since arriving, possibly ever. “The rest of us are fooled. I have seen how you interact with the purple lizard. You seem quite intent on upsetting her.”
“Aye, PK’s a special exception. I like to rile ‘er up. But if she asks me t’ do summin’, I want to get it done. It’s just that I’m so damn unlucky. Or irresponsible, sometimes clumsy, or maybe lotsa other things too! It’s really frustratin’, ya know?”
Sorbet stepped in very close to the pirate, extending its stubby arms towards Gunpowder’s face. His natural reaction was to jump away and snarl; Gunpowder greatly disliked being touched, and it was surprising Sorbet didn’t know this. Perhaps it didn’t care. Sorbet, however, was not intimidated at all, and closed the gap between the two once more.
“Clumsy?” Sorbet asked. In one fell swoop, the dragon removed Gunpowder’s eye-patch, revealing that he had two fully functional eyes. No surprises there, especially since he had been known to switch it around. “This might have a great deal to do with it.”
Gunpowder curiously pointed to the patch. “This? What’s wrong with me patch? I’ve had it fer a while now, and I can see just fine wit’ it on, thanks.”
“Ah... yes. You in particular would need additional explanation.” Sorbet paused. “There is nothing inherently wrong with the eye-patch. What’s wrong is the fact that you wear it. You are hiding behind a mask, trying to be something you are not. Such behavior can lead to negative consequences.”
Gunpowder still wasn’t getting it. What was he trying to be? The head of the Rogues’ Guild? No, that was Devonshire’s job. A pirate? Well, he was certainly one of those - even sailed on the sea, once upon a time. He didn’t think he was ‘trying to be’ anything he wasn’t...
Sorbet interrupted Gunpowder’s chain of thought, as if it knew. “Unlike me, shark, your heart is not made of ice. The longer you act as if it were, the worse things will become for you.” The larger dragon began walking towards the fountain once more, ready to resume its post. “I have nothing more for you. Heed my advice. Or don’t. I don’t care either way.”
It was then that Gunpowder realized what was meant - he would always try very hard to help, but his desire to maintain a “burly, evil pirate” front interfered with this. For him, it seemed these things were mutually exclusive. He was even about to call it quits when an idea struck him - a very rare event indeed. He made haste for PK’s item stand.
It appeared Shroomsworth had not yet had time to relieve the duty of caretaker from the team he had left in charge just yet. Based on how cheery and full of spunk the departing customers seemed, perhaps “inexperienced” was not the best choice of word for the couple left in charge. It was a yellow-brown lazy-looking creature and a floating green ball of happiness. They had just finished serving their last customer when Gunpowder stepped up to the stand. Their cheerful demeanor was quickly replaced with fear.
“G-gunpowder! Is.. is that you? Oh goodness, please don’t hurt us.” It was the yellow one who spoke; the other creature proceeded to hide behind his partner. “If you need a new.. eye-patch.. thing.. you should head to Chrys’s place, not ours. We can’t help you.”
It had just occurred to Gunpowder that he had left his eyepatch behind with Sorbet. Not like he needed it.
“Aye? Oh. Yarr, don’t be frettin’, wee tykes. I ain’t here to cause trouble. In fact, I need t’ be buyin’ summin’.” Gunpowder had quite the smile on his face, which only struck further terror into his new business associates. “For real, though. No tricks. What’re yer names?”
“M-me? I’m Oskar. The other one’s Mei, she doesn’t really speak very well.” He paused, still a bit shaken up. Was Gunpowder really this notorious? Amongst guild members, he was feared, but amongst the leaders, he was a joke. What a sad fate.
“Nice t’ meet ya, Oskar.” Gunpowder looked around the table, and saw a couple of different sorts of berries on display. Behind the shop were a couple of crates, presumably containing more of the berries. “What can ya tell me ‘bout these berries, then?”
This seemed to catch the attention of the Merchants, and they began to relax now that business was being discussed. A chance to impress Shroomsworth with what we’ve learned! they surely thought. After all, the Merchants were not shy of any Pokemon with money. And Gunpowder certainly had that.
“Well, I’m glad you asked, sir! Today, we have a special on Oran berries, but well.. it’s because they’re pretty bland. If you’re after something to eat, they’ll do, but perhaps you’d be more interested in the deliciously spicy Cheri berry, or the much sweeter Pecha berry. They’re a bit more pricey, but you get what you pay for, you know?”
Gunpowder thought long and hard. Which berry would be best...? Wait, why was he thinking that? That had nothing to do with his plan! “Ahem. Well, you do drive a hard bargain, but.. I’ll take them.”
Oskar was rather puzzled. “Oh? How many?”
“All of ‘em.” Gunpowder had quite a serious look on his face.
“You.. you must be joking, sir. Not many have the funds to make such a purchase! And besides, Madame PK has given numerous speeches about never allowing you to put an item on your ahh.. so called ‘tab’...”
“No, no, I be serious. ‘Course, I be payin’ in full, too. Lessee...” Gunpowder bowed his head over the counter and lifted his hat, out of which a pile of assorted gems and gold coins fell. It made quite the noise, but Oskar did not seem to mind. In fact, he was enthralled. Such a large sum! Surely Shroomsworth would reward them admirably for making such a sale.
“Will this be enough for the lot?”
“Most certainly, sir! Absolutely, no problem!” The other creature, Mei, made an odd popping noise and the gems began to float off the counter and then off towards the main Merchant hut. Quite the crafty bunch, it seemed. “Will there be anything else, then?” Oskar inquired.
“Ah! ‘Course, you read me like a book, matey.” Gunpowder clapped his claws together in a rather excited fashion. “Yes, have these distributed amongst your guild. I will not actually be needin’ ‘em.”
Of course, no act of generosity goes unnoticed. The clanking of the pirate’s coins earlier combined with his loud voice had caught the attention of Shroomsworth, and he did not look impressed to see Gunpowder. What else was new.
“You! Of course, you would be here! Hadn’t enough yet, I gather?” He still sounded quite upset. Before he was able to chide Gunpowder further, however, Oskar chimed in with the news of their big sale. Upon hearing, Shroomsworth glared at Gunpowder. A glare that could transcend time and space. It was truly a force to be reckoned with.
“Ah.. I see. Why don’t you two begin carrying the goods into the main hall and distributing it, as has been requested? Your job is not quite yet finished. I will speak to you about your payment upon completion, eh wot.” Shroomsworth tapped his cane to the ground, and the team was off to work quicker than a bat out of hell. This left only old mushroom head and pirate face.
“Gunpowder.”
“What is it, my dear ol’ Shroomsworth?” replied Gunpowder in the most facetious way possible.
“What game are you playing at? First you completely muck up your previous task, and now you come to pester my associates? Rubbish. Absolute rubbish, I say.” Although his tone was quite serious, it seemed he was also genuinely inquisitive.
“No game, mate. I messed up, so I figured I’d make it up t’ ya.”
“Really? You think you can buy our respect? With what, some food? Buildings, perhaps? Or maybe you’d rather just give us the coin and let us decide ourselves what to buy?” Shroomsworth scoffed. “None of that matters. You cannot change your actions with other actions. The past is the past. Instead of trying to fix it, worry about not making the same mistakes again.”
In a rare moment of consideration for others, Gunpowder waited for Shroomsworth to finish saying his piece, rather than interrupt and cause more distress between the two.
“Really now. You infuriate me. I have never met someone so incompetent before in my life. And not only that, the way you treat the missus is just..” Shroomsworth had to stop himself there, his face turning a slight tinge of red. He cleared his throat.
By now, Gunpowder had seen quite enough lecturing and yelling, but instead of replying with sass or further antagonizing, he spoke two magical words that, if Chuck were to hear them, would surely go down in Tao Village history--
“I’m sorry.”
The two stood awkwardly for a moment in silence, before Gunpowder broke it, again with shocking words. “I’m really sorry, Shroomsworth. I made a mistake, and I can’t really make it up t’ ya. But I can try, right? And sayin’ sorry seems like a good start.”
Shroomsworth tried his best not to reveal what he must have thought was a great victory, but it was hard not to chuckle. “Well then.” He cleared his throat again, returning to his usual stern look. “I don’t believe you.”
“Aye, fine enough.”
“I will be taking these berries. No refunds, I am sure you are well aware. Will this actually conclude our business today, Gunpowder?”
“Well.. Actually, now thatcha mention it, I could use one more favor. Save one o’ them crates o’ berries for me, and once you got me cart cleared off, throw it on there. I should be seein’ another high-rankin’ type today, and I’d like to personally deliver a gift.”
Shroomsworth sighed and waved his hand in dismissal. “Fine, fine. I don’t care what you do. Just be on your way once it’s loaded, you hear?”
“Aye.” Gunpowder tipped his hat to Shroomsworth, and began walking towards the hut where his cart still lay in wait. Behind the old pirate’s back, Shroomsworth had quite the grin on his face.
Although he would never reveal it to Gunpowder, he was actually somewhat impressed.
