May Tasks 2013
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Present
I tell ya, I went through four pens before they’d give me one my size! Eh, anyway... looks like you lot need some work and can’t get it from the usual source. Well, for now, I’m your guy. Trudeau, the extraordinary merchant of healthy living, at your service! I know all sorts of things you can do to help your body feel better after all that garbage you all put in it every day, but I’ll save that advice for whenever you decide to talk to me personally about a healthier lifestyle. You’re here for tasks in Sapling Village!
I’ll start with my fellow Merchants. First off, it sure does suck that you all got kicked out like that. My condolences, though you all know that you should have been selling healthier stuff, so keep that in mind next time and you might be a little better off. Anyway, you’re here, so let’s get down to it! First off, you’ve all been welcomed to commandeer a stall in the Commerce Mushroom. We’ve got enough space for you to run whatever kind of shop you’d like, as long as you donate some of your profits to the village. This place doesn’t run on grass shavings, you know! The more of you doing this, the better off the village is, so you get to do your thing AND it’s for a good cause! Great, huh? One point for donating!
That’ll get you some favor, but aside from that, my ol’ buddy Shroomsworth needs a bit of a personal errand. All the little tykes over at the Shroomish Hub are his family, y’know, and he wants to get some nice gifts for them like he does from time to time. He seems pretty down and beat up, though. Looks like somebody bit his lip, even! Who does that?! Anyway, he mentioned you guys could buy some toys for the Shroomish and take them over there giftwrapped. He told me not to urge you to give them dried pecha flakes and Happy Balls, and I’m inclined to disagree heavily, but I feel like I’ve gotta do him a solid and stay out of this. He suggests mostly active toys (like wagons, toy cars, trampolines...) and a few calmer things (y’know, dolls, little pop-up books) for the little shy ones. You earn one point for this.
Now for you Rescuers. We really need you guys to live up to your name on this one, ‘cause some of the little Shroomish tykes have gone missing! The other ones claim that they read some kind of crazy, exciting book and wanted to go out to have an adventure of their own. That’s no reason to sneak out at night! Don’t any of the caretakers teach these kids that Creeping Forest is dangerous? Go out there and round them up before they hurt themselves out there in the wilderness! One point for their retrieval.
While some of you take care of that, the rest might want to take care of an issue we honest salesmons are having in the Commerce Mushroom. Some Scraggy who might as well have crawled out of Alomomola’s gutter took over one of the stalls, and he’s selling illegal drugs! Another thing nobody should be putting into their bodies. As far as I’m concerned, it’s no worse than some of the filth that’s legally sold here, though. The bad part is, Sporegard attempted to get him to leave, but he won’t budge, denying his illegal sales and threatening others with the muscle of some of the Pokemon accompanying him. We need an outside force of justice to intervene here, and you guys sound like the ones for the job! Run those guys out of here, however you have to do it.
Last but not least, the Rogues. I’m often wrongfully called fraudulent for selling health products that don’t provide immediate results, so I can relate to you guys. We’re so misunderstood! Would it kill them to just use my products for a while before telling everybody I’m a scam artist? That aside, I’m going to ask you guys to go after some real scam artists. Foreigners are allowed to sell here, but many of them skimp on the donations for using Sapling’s grounds for their business. This is a gentle place that wouldn’t dream of confronting them about it, but as a foreigner myself, I think it’s pretty disrespectful that some of them make a killing in there and keep it all for themselves. If you were to secretly “transfer” some of their earnings to the village’s vault, they probably wouldn’t miss it... and if they do, that’s tough for them.
I’ll admit, I’m not a fan of that Scraggy guy and the illegal trade we all know he’s doing. He’s been asked to stop and everything! On the other hand, though, the appearance of illegal berry drugs around here has been turning people to my own stall. Something about the circulation of such unhealthy stuff makes the moral types around here realize the importance of my healthy products. That’s really great! So, as long as the Scraggy’s still around here, I’m sure he could use some undercover help in keeping his business confidential. I don’t want to know how you help him do this, though. I’d rather the guy be kicked out for his disrespect, but I might as well look out for my own business at the same time, right? More health awareness around here is fine by me!
We have a few tasks that all of you can do, too. I personally have at least one! What, you think I did this for charity? Well... sort of, but I could still use your help! I’ve got a new product, you see. Initial sales tests have shown me that everyone thinks it’s ‘confusing’, ‘weird’, and ‘stupid’. Well, I think they just don’t understand the merits of the industrial-strength Happy Dodecahedron! My newest invention, it’s capable of drawing the toxins from one’s body far quicker than the Happy Ball. I’ll give a few samples out of my Happy Ball to anybody who will go out and show everyone how great the Happy Dodecahedrons are with some public demonstrations! One thing, though: they work most obviously if your body is naturally poisonous in some way. More toxins to remove, and all that. Your demonstration will be best if it involves a Poison-type Pokemon, or at least a Poison-type move. The audience needs to see the product work!
No points for this! Just one of my wonderful, patent-pending Happy Balls! They detoxify your surroundings and rejuvenate your entire life! What a good deal, eh? They come in any color except purple, but turn purple when filled with toxins. Be careful! They will poison others if you don’t take them straight back here to be detoxified, as well.
Oh, this is one of my favorites! That crabby librarian, Arianna, has finally caved on the whole xenophobia thing. Did you know that one time, she wrung my neck for trying to sell her a Happy Ball? Apparently, she’s ready to try and accept foreigners being around Sapling. Good on her, I say! She then went on to lament that her uptight, bookish appearance has been getting in the way of foreigners opening up to her. She is a little scary, to be honest. Why don’t you take her by Bellutiful Cuts and see if you can’t help give her a more... outgoing style? Just don’t make her look ridiculous; I’m pretty sure she was going easy on me when she strangled me unconscious. Success, and get a point.
The creepiest of them would be what’s going down at Barty’s Bluff, though. That place got pretty run-down with nobody using it for a while. It’s in shambles! Now, there’s a bunch of Drifloon floating around brainlessly, trying to pick the Shroomish kids up and fly away with them. I’ve heard when they get like this, they’re trying to drag others away to a spirit world, or something like that. I don’t know if there’s any truth to it, but either way, they can’t do that! Go ahead and repair Barty’s Bluff, and talk some sense into the Drifloon if that’s not enough to bring them around. Do this for one point.
The younger Grass-types around here other than the Shroomish like to hang out at a nearby body of water called Lotad Pond that they claim is for the ‘Cool Kids’. I’ve been coming here ever since I was a Nidoran, and I was never invited there! Hmm... anyway, they’re starting to complain that the water’s getting pretty gross. It even makes them feel sick just to touch it! As it turns out, a few Muk have been hanging out near it. They’re friendly, but it’s possible that they’re causing it, and that’s no good if it’s true. Get to the bottom of this, and detoxify the lake. And, of course, if you need help on removing toxins from something... well, you know where to shop. Heh heh. One point for detoxification!
Ah, I haven’t written this much since that time I got sued! That does it for all the things to do around Sapling. Be sure to stop by the healthiest shop in the region, while you’re here! Trudeau’s, the place to go for removing all those toxins nobody ever told you about!
Egg: You may receive an egg of the typings Ground, Normal, or Fighting if you have five points to trade in. I think recently some eggs were found in Creeping Forest with no one around.
Evolution Scroll: You may receive one of these from your guild leader if you have... ten points to trade in.
Recruitment! It looks like you can recruit a base form of a Ground, Normal, or Fighting Pokemon from in or around the castle if you have twelve points. Yikes! Also, it’s worth mentioning that I’m taking Accessory Vouchers right now. Going rate’s one voucher for 3 points. Take it or leave it.
(Happy Balls remove Poison-type temporarily when used, or may cure poison, and then may cast Toxic once, until refilled with poison.)
Past
So! We have all lived to see another day, and I'm sure most of you are appreciative of that. Now is not the time to relax, though, for there is still much to do. Don't fret, don't fret! You'll find that my tasks today are far, far less likely to kill you than defending Tao village from the Zoroark invasion the other night.
I have asked both PK and Mike for permission in enlisting help from everyone regardless of guild, so do not worry about obtaining the approval or disapproval from your leaders.
I would like to be picky about who I select from those of you who will volunteer, but I know that the tunnel gets finished, and that's really all that matters, don't you agree?
I'll need a few able-bodied Pokemon to head down into the tunnel I've been working on and continue digging it. It's the tunnel that takes us straight to Merlot's castle in the future, when Sorbet goes a tad insane. I've been doing most of the work myself, but I have some things to take care of and I'd like to know that progress is still being made while I'm not there.
I'll also need some carpenter-savvy types to furnish the cave leading to the escape tunnel with basic necessities to run a business. Desks, lamps, storage rooms, you name it. I would like to be picky here as well, but I know I'll end up with some dark, abysmal looking cave-decor. Ah well.
I cannot pay any of you at this very moment for doing these tasks for me, as my riches are in our present time. If all goes well and Jasmine takes us back to our proper time, feel free to remind me then that I owe you for services rendered and I will allow you to help yourself to one trinket from my vast collection.
I just write something on this board and everyone will do it? How novel! The possibilities for abuse are nonexistent!
As I'm sure most of you know, the fact that you all recognize me means that I will be more or less in this same form in your time. That is to say, about 150 years from now. This means I will not die, suffer any loss of limbs, or fall prey to some crippling ailment for at least a couple centuries.
Boring! How incredibly boring! The monthly Zoroark assaults were something I looked forward to every month, and now I shall find them insufficiently entertaining. What good is a fight to the death when isn't? It's been a day and I already miss the feeling of those battles!
Do you get it yet? Do I have to spell it out for you? I want blood! I want flashes of teeth, and I want the clawing and tearing of flesh. I want to experience terror! I know I will survive, and I know I won't even manage to lose a leg or two. But, if only for a few moments, I want someone to make me forget that.
That's not to say it's going to be a one-sided battle, mind you. In order for this to truly be fun, I'll be doing my best to ensure that your life is on the line here. I know mine isn't, but I'm not about being fair.
For entertaining me, I will give you: One of my fabulous books from my small collection!
I'll be waiting in a field outside Tao. Come prepared to die, if you'd like.
Magic Trick for Baby: Reading this book will allow you to forget one of your current moves and replace it with Kinesis. Impress all your friends with this trivial of wonders!
Staring into the Abyss: Reading this book will force you to forget one of your current moves and replace it with Amnesia. Better not stare at it too long, it feels kinda creepy...
How it Ends: The Sequel: End Harder: Written by the only being to know how our world actually ends! It seems that she forgot what the book was supposed to be about, though. It is filled with nothing but her inane, unimportant ramblings. Things get good towards the end, but the last page is torn out! Reading this book allows you to forget one of your current moves and replace it with Frustration.
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Past tasks are not worth any points.
May tasks end before June 1st
